For A Friend

Earlier today I was talking with a dear friend of mine who has struggled with depression for a while now. In the midst of our conversation, I just felt this intense urge come over me to write. This poem is for my friend. It’s a look in the mirror through my lenses. How I see my kind friend and how impactful his friendship has been on my life.

Nathan

Nathan you’re so much more than just a failure or bother. Being afforded the opportunity to know you has truly been an honor. I know waking up each day is starting to get a lot harder. Just know I’ll always be here for you in one some way or another. You gotta let me at least help ease the stress you’re under. All this weight alone is way too much for one person to harbor. I understand your depression became your scariest monster. I have one too, my monster taught me what it means to suffer. Too many times I’ve been staring down the barrel of a revolver. I can’t count the times pills were my only anchor. Not even brave enough to overdose, i was just an imposter. I was a fucked up, buzzed liar. A broken fracture of a splinter. A selfish imperfect daughter of Mother Nature. In the end, I couldn’t bring myself to pull the trigger. My life was on the line, I was blinded to the danger. I let go of my temper and survived to find my answer. The scars began to heal and then my heart grew tender. Life is more than you and me, everyone should matter. Selfish pity makes up worldwide movers. If I could I’d prove to you the future gets sweeter. All I can say is life only has one timer. Once the clock runs up, fate belongs to the Creator. Destiny takes you, in the night like a stranger. You gotta take the time to look at the man in the mirror. The man looking at me is a kind, compassionate creature. It’s not my Nathan you see, no that man is just bitter. The Nathan I know, he’s not that quitter. No, that man in the mirror, that man is just bitter. He lives in your head, feeding off laughter. The man I know, he lets go of his anger. My Nathan is somewhere , he’s just been quiet as a whisper. But he will show up soon, he’s just been lost in his anger. But I swear to you, he’s a natural born leader. I promise you Nathan, this isn’t all life has to offer. Just try to keep fighting, a little bit longer. I know fighting is near impossible, but it’s making you stronger. Just give it to God, lay it down at the alter. Obstacles pass, then the future is brighter. This isn’t the end, just one little chapter. Nathan, I just wanna say I couldn’t be prouder. To call you a dear friend, has made life better. Until it does, we will work on it together.