Diagnosis

I dance to beats I hear inside my head
Borderline splitting keeps me on the edge
Manic as hell from a mind that’s misled
Narcissistic tendencies to life I pledge

I see people and want to hide
PTSD is what turned off the light
Childhood trauma makes for a hell of a ride
All the abuse has locked up my fight

I get angry and catch on fire
Intermittent explosion burns flames brighter
Trust issues keep saying love is a liar
While panic attacks keep winding me tighter

I feel safe in what I know
Abandonment issues took my home
Out of violence my childhood had to grow
Paranoia kidnapped sanity, left my mind to roam

I feel good when I numb the pain
Drug addiction stole identity and my name
Relapse kept me numb inside feeling insane
Hating myself showed truth in life being a game

I feel good when I feel hollow
Suicidal tendencies fuel my ego
Anger un-chokes me and helps me swallow
Chasing death to the limit is a good placebo

I keep hoping to find a fix for my mind
I feel like there’s only so much time
I don’t know what I’m even searching to find
I just pray to God I’ll find peace in my prime